You've been dreaming about your wedding day since you were knee-high to a grasshopper, picturing the look in your partner's eyes as they watch you walking down the aisle, the perfect color of the sunset as you share your first dance... And now it's almost here. But wait, is that a flutter of butterflies in your stomach or the cold feet we so often hear about?
You've been dreaming about your wedding day since you were knee-high to a grasshopper, picturing the look in your partner's eyes as they watch you walking down the aisle, the perfect color of the sunset as you share your first dance... And now it's almost here. But wait, is that a flutter of butterflies in your stomach or the cold feet we so often hear about?
I had my first official wedding of the 2021 wedding season this month and it did NOT disappoint! Yes I was only there for 2 hours but I woke up feeling like I was partying in 1999. These are the moments I live for honestly and I’m so glad that my couples choose me to officiate their ceremonies. The decision comes easy for some couples to select me as their officiant and then for some it leaves a big question mark on their task list because they have no idea what to look for in an officiant. As a minister and officiant, we have a lot of responsibility before and during the wedding, so whether you choose me or not, you’ll want to make sure the person you choose is up to the task.
What should you look for?
· Choose someone you know or someone who knows you. If I know you or know of you, I’ll be able to use personal anecdotes during the ceremony. Plus, I’ll know how to work with you.
· Choose someone who has experience officiating. A seasoned officiant will know when you should be facing them or facing each other, we also know the order and the timing of vows and ring exchanges.
· Choose someone who has a clear speaking voice. This is easily done on our initial consultation call, if you love my voice (which I’m sure you will) then it’s a win–win for your ceremony.
· Choose someone who understands and matches your Wedding style and vibes. The last thing you would want is to choose someone who doesn’t have a sense of humor, who is uptight, or truly doesn’t enjoy their job.
· Choose someone who matches your religious beliefs. You don’t have to morally agree on everything, but the words of an officiant shares on your special day should be genuine, and if the beliefs are aligned, this is going to come across during the ceremony.
· Choose someone local. Now for the right officiant, like myself, I don’t mind traveling as I’m worth it! But I always believe that the closer your wedding officiant is to your location, the more likely they will be available for your special day.
I know that finding a wedding officiant is no easy task, a lot of couples wait until the last minute. But think about this for a minute, you are choosing me as your special person to unify your commitment. The suggestions I gave above aren’t commandments, just things to consider and I expect every couple I encounter to be comfortable in making the decision to hire me.
XO Minister Sharnise Sears
WOW!
I have never been big on “dates”. I barely even remember my own birthdate (old people problems lol) but as much as I encourage people to celebrate their wins and blessings, I would be a hypocrite to not celebrate my own success.
Every time I read blogs and snippets about small businesses, I always hear about the successes with a very small sentence about the losses. I know we aren’t “supposed” to harp on losses because we’re celebrating but why can’t we celebrate the loss too? Without loss, can we truly be successful?
Well, here are my losses AND successes in a nutshell. It is my hopes in sharing this that YOU will be encouraged to share and celebrate both loss and wins in your own life while also learning and growing from them all.
Minister Sharnise Sears (formerly Weddings By CPE) was officially launched on July 7th 2017 and we have served over 135 couples with weddings and premarital counseling since our launch.
2017: All gains, no loss..per se’. I did however, have a wedding fail were I overpromised and under delivered. Completely dropped the ball and overstepped my “Officiant” boundaries. I was even trying to design couples wedding “programs”. Way too much. All of my “advice” came from various Facebook groups so needless to say, not all advice was bad but good lord I needed perspective and real guidance. I did win Wedding Wires Couples Choice Award and that was pretty cool!
Lesson of the year: Girl, Slow Down.
2018: 49 Weddings. Chile…49! I was booked and busy doing the absolute most but missing my family and a very important piece to this business: EDUCATION. Honestly, I showed up and read a semi curated ceremony script and went about my way..essentially doing a job and not running a business with strategy or goals. This was realized early on so, by July of 2018, I was on the hunt for knowledge. I attended my first Wedding MBA and got all the info from various experts and was determined to be great. I found a mentor in the wedding business that continues to give me sound advice. I also connected with some amazing Officiants and wedding vendors that I could glean from. Goals were set by November and I decided to scale back for 2019. I DID win Wedding Wire’s Couples Choice Award again and was recognized by American Marriage Ministries in various blog posts.
Lesson of the year: Girl, it is okay to be your authentic self.
2019: Between weddings, elopements, and premarital counseling, I was FULL but still felt my brand hadn’t been established properly. I hired a marketing team without doing my due diligence in research and that didn’t work out too well. I paid for a lot of miscellaneous marketing things actually…none of which helped me with growing my business. I did however, hire a business coach and wrote down all of my goals that I am still slowly implementing. Long story short, I spent so much money in such a small amount of time with no ROI. I knew I was in trouble when I looked at my calendar for 2020 and didn’t see any weddings booked.
*Marriage Win & Fail* If you know me, you know I am BIG about happy and healthy marriages so here is my personal snippet on grace in marriage. It was always my desire to build something with my husband. He is also a Licensed Minister and I believed this would be an awesome business and ministry for both of us to build. When I tell you I HARASSED him to do this with me…please believe the struggle was real. But after much resistance and heartache about it, I was reminded about what our premarital counselor told us 7 years ago: “one of you have to learn how to speed it up and the other needs to slow it down”. Guess who needed to slow down? (slowly raises hand). I will continue to pray about us building something together but I will also let God lead the way in this area. I am grateful for a spouse that knows God and extends grace to me and my crazy ideas every single day. Swoon
At the end of 2019, I decided to practice what I preached. I set more goals (scary ones both personal and professional) and claimed 2020 as the year of discipline.
Lesson of the year: Girl, your help comes from the Lord.
The year of our Lord 2020: How fitting that a global pandemic would hit and MAKE us all more disciplined and focused!. With everything slowing down, Covid-19 ain’t stopped or slowed the love. I have booked more weddings, elopements, and premarital counseling with couples that want to hire me because of my skill and not just because I do “this". I have focused a lot more on building better relationships with my couples so that I can be a vessel and resource for them well after they say “I-do”. These awesome couples have allowed me into their homes and their mental spaces and trusted me with the most sacred moment of their lives. They’ve even referred me to their family and friends and that is the ultimate compliment imo. I have connected with Wedding “Friend-Dors”and built actual relationships with them and they have strengthened and gassed me up with blogs, referrals, likes, shares, and tags.
I ain’t spending no unnecessary money on my business but I will use my dollars wisely with my goals in mind. It’s only July and 2021 has me semi booked and busy and I am ready. SHE READY!!! (in my Tiffany Haddish voice).
This was a long read so I thank all of you that have a great attention span and have made it this far. I’d like to let you all know that I could not have done any of this without God…and the tribe he has blessed me with. I pray that you all are encouraged today.
Scripture for the year:
“To those who have been called, who are loved in God the Father and kept for Jesus Christ: Mercy, peace, and love be yours in abundance.” Jude 1:1-2
XO, Minister Sharnise Sears
Hooray! We’ve made our second blog post ever!!! I had every intention on posting at least every 30 days but..meh…life happened. So here we are! I will seriously not make this announcement at the beginning of every future blog, but I will always be super excited.
Before a couple books their wedding day with me, I always offer a free in person or virtual meet up to ensure we are a good fit. I truly believe that nothing is worse than booking an officiant that has no idea who you are, what you want/need, or even care to pronounce your name correctly (and guest can really tell!).
Kendra & Al Alexander Photo Credit http://www.kayladuffinphotography.com
During the initial consultation, I ask each couple about their religious backgrounds, beliefs, or preferences, regardless if they’ve already informed me of their choice of a religious or non-religious ceremony. It’s a good way for us all to gauge where you are spiritually and to understand what you expect for your customized ceremony script.
Sometime ago in 2017, I was contacted by a couple that requested a non-religious/short and sweet wedding ceremony. They were from out of town but the majority of their family and friends reside in good old Cleveland, Ohio.
Throughout multiple emails, I discovered that my bride had a catholic background but because she had been divorced with no annulment, she felt as though she could not incorporate God into her ceremony. The Bride and the Groom also had a deep love and respect for the Dali Lama and Buddhist philosophy. Now, we all know Catholic and Buddhist belief systems don’t really go hand in hand…right?
By religious rules, they don’t but in all actuality, they really do.
On another note, who’s marriage is it anyway?
The reason why most Independent Professional Wedding Officiants exist is to unite couples that love one another together legally and that’s it. Most of us are in this marriage business because we know there is too much red tape that attempts to confine couples into boxes of what religious sects deem as a perfect and acceptable marriage.
Just like snowflakes, no two weddings are exactly alike.
Your wedding and your marriage is yours to create. Traditional or Non-Traditional, Religious or Non-Religious...only matters if it matters to you.
Kendra & Al' Alexander’s prayer Photo Credit http://www.kayladuffinphotography.com
