You're engaged—congratulations are in order! Amidst the excitement and endless questions about the wedding date and details, there's a crucial step that often goes overlooked. While everyone is busy telling you about the best wedding venues or the latest trends in wedding decor, the question they should be asking is, "Have you considered premarital counseling?"
You've been dreaming about your wedding day since you were knee-high to a grasshopper, picturing the look in your partner's eyes as they watch you walking down the aisle, the perfect color of the sunset as you share your first dance... And now it's almost here. But wait, is that a flutter of butterflies in your stomach or the cold feet we so often hear about?
As humans we are imperfect, we can’t expect for our spouse to not make mistakes. You can’t expect your relationship or marriage to survive if you want to call it quits every single time there is a storm. You also can’t expect a healthy relationship if you are not focusing on what’s causing the storm and your lightning bolt reaction to it. Are you sitting down as a couple to talk things out or are you pointing fingers placing blame? ⚡️
Hooray! We’ve made our second blog post ever!!! I had every intention on posting at least every 30 days but..meh…life happened. So here we are! I will seriously not make this announcement at the beginning of every future blog, but I will always be super excited.
Before a couple books their wedding day with me, I always offer a free in person or virtual meet up to ensure we are a good fit. I truly believe that nothing is worse than booking an officiant that has no idea who you are, what you want/need, or even care to pronounce your name correctly (and guest can really tell!).
Kendra & Al Alexander Photo Credit http://www.kayladuffinphotography.com
During the initial consultation, I ask each couple about their religious backgrounds, beliefs, or preferences, regardless if they’ve already informed me of their choice of a religious or non-religious ceremony. It’s a good way for us all to gauge where you are spiritually and to understand what you expect for your customized ceremony script.
Sometime ago in 2017, I was contacted by a couple that requested a non-religious/short and sweet wedding ceremony. They were from out of town but the majority of their family and friends reside in good old Cleveland, Ohio.
Throughout multiple emails, I discovered that my bride had a catholic background but because she had been divorced with no annulment, she felt as though she could not incorporate God into her ceremony. The Bride and the Groom also had a deep love and respect for the Dali Lama and Buddhist philosophy. Now, we all know Catholic and Buddhist belief systems don’t really go hand in hand…right?
By religious rules, they don’t but in all actuality, they really do.
On another note, who’s marriage is it anyway?
The reason why most Independent Professional Wedding Officiants exist is to unite couples that love one another together legally and that’s it. Most of us are in this marriage business because we know there is too much red tape that attempts to confine couples into boxes of what religious sects deem as a perfect and acceptable marriage.
Just like snowflakes, no two weddings are exactly alike.
Your wedding and your marriage is yours to create. Traditional or Non-Traditional, Religious or Non-Religious...only matters if it matters to you.
Kendra & Al' Alexander’s prayer Photo Credit http://www.kayladuffinphotography.com
