Wedding Planning

Navigating Doubt's Dance: Wedding Jitters

Navigating Doubt's Dance: Wedding Jitters

You've been dreaming about your wedding day since you were knee-high to a grasshopper, picturing the look in your partner's eyes as they watch you walking down the aisle, the perfect color of the sunset as you share your first dance... And now it's almost here. But wait, is that a flutter of butterflies in your stomach or the cold feet we so often hear about?

Let's Get Married After the Covid Pandemic

Hi Everyone! 

I know it’s been quite some time since my last current blog post, almost a year to be exact, but I’m glad to be back and appreciate all of the love.  As with most small businesses and families, we have all had to sit through this pandemic and reevaluate a lot of things personally.  So I took a break from blogging to focus on my couples, new client relationships, and the wedding business in 2021.  Has the wedding industry fully recovered?  Not quite, however, I must say I am blessed to still be here and have a business overflowing with inquiries and bookings.  With the Covid restrictions for the wedding industry now being lifted due to vaccine distribution, I’m sure you and your significant other have many questions surrounding if now is still the right time to get married. 

“Hey baby – Let’s get Married After the Covid Pandemic”, he said.  😊

“After?  After?”, she replied. 🙄

This was a scenario one of my engaged friends shared with me that made me laugh because she was not impressed.  When women are ready to get married, they are ready.  A pandemic takes years to recover from, so are you going to hold off on your commitment because of it?  Fortunately you don’t have to holdoff any longer, as states are lifting restrictions in droves allowing friends and family to celebrate with you on your special day.  This was a major reason that a lot of couples cancelled or postponed their big day which is completely understandable.  There is a huge BOOM 💥 all of us in within the Wedding industry have been waiting for in 2021.  I’m ready for my couples!  Are you ready to set your date?

A few things you should consider if getting married in 2021:

·         There is no longer a 300-person limitation here in Ohio.

·         You still must comply with mask wearing and social distancing.

·         All Wedding Venues, Officiants & Entertainment will be overwhelmed with requests – book quickly, consider 2022 where there may be no restrictions at all.

I’m keeping an eye on things for all of you and will promise to stay in touch.

XO, Minister Sharnise Sears

Anxiety & Wedding Ceremony Planning

Wedding prep is super fun right? It’s a magical experience full of Pinterest boards, wedding registries, and honeymoon options. But with all that planning have you considered the actual ceremony?

When couples choose to book their day with me, the first question I ask is

“What do you envision for your wedding ceremony?”

Typically, I get a deer in the headlights glare because no one ever asks that question.

In the olden days, you would go to your pastor/priest to request your wedding date, maybe go through pre-marriage counseling, have a rehearsal and then show up at the wedding. No planning involved for the actual ceremony. The script is pre-written and has been spoken over countless marriages over time.

So, trust me when I say, I get it.

Planning the ceremony is something new.

Times have surely changed. When booking your wedding day with an independent officiant, the choice to have a traditional or non-traditional ceremony will now be as detailed as your reception and décor. With all the new “unity ceremonies” and add-on’s such as a “rose ceremony” or the “whisky ceremony” or even the “PB&J ceremony” things can get a tad bit overwhelming and may even cause some anxiety…which then leads to avoidance…which leads to choosing someone to just show and read (not recommended).

Mindful Meditation helps you to plan better and helps to relieve anxieties

Mindful Meditation helps you to plan better and helps to relieve anxieties

Here’s is something that I have been incorporating in my life as apart of my self-care that I think will help every bride/groom to be less overwhelmed as it pertains to planning the wedding ceremony.

Let’s do a quick activity (read first apply later preferably during your meditation).

1.       Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths for 1 full minute

2.       Think about getting ready on your wedding day

3.       Think about your wedding dress

4.       Envision the doors opening and walking down the aisle toward your Groom

5.       Imagine now standing in front of your Groom and Officiant

Now, what words do you want to hear? Are you nervous? If so, what will calm you? A funny love story? A sentimental poem? Will performing cultural or religious wedding traditions make you feel like “Yassss, its finally happening?!” Will having your favorite family member or friend sing a song or read a passage be comforting to you? Will you feel supported if your guest were involved in some way?

You’ve been to plenty of weddings where you’ve heard and seen things you DEFINITELY wouldn’t want incorporated in your ceremony so talk about them. Pinterest it if you must! What do you want for your wedding ceremony?

Your ceremony is what legally binds you in marriage. And I say this all the time: It’s the difference between throwing a big party or have a real wedding. Take the time to envision your ceremony details and that will make your wedding day all the more memorable.

XO, Minister Sharnise

Taking Care - Self Care

GASP*

Its been an entire month (and a few days) since I’ve last updated WBCPE’s blog post. In my defense, I had a perfectly planned blog about a past wedding that I wanted to share with you all but due to unforeseen circumstances, “we” decided it isn’t the right time.

So! Just like marriage, a monkey wrench has been thrown, I got off focus, but now I am back at it.

I’ve literally gone mad trying figure out what else can I possibly blog about that you haven’t already read? I even stalked other Wedding Officiants blogs and I was literally bored to tears when I saw similar posts on all of their websites. When to hire the officiant? Should you have a rehearsal? Wedding bloopers and so on. BORING!

After much consideration, I have decided to use this space as my personal journal about wedding planning, ceremony planning, married life, and wife life. Hopefully it won’t be too boring and if it is, consider it my small version of therapy and just pray for me mmmkay?

I’ll keep this short but I wanted to circle back on the “unforeseen circumstances”.

Dating, relationships, weddings, parenthood, and marriage is chock full of unforeseen circumstances. These life events are awesome until something unforeseen occurs and throws your whole life off. If you’re anything like me, you’ll try to push past any upset. You’ll be the strong one. You’ll carry the issue on your back in efforts to prevent those involved from falling apart. But most importantly, and unfortunately, during those times you’ll forget to take care of you.

Today, the idea of self-care is so prevalent, it almost makes you feel guilty that you aren’t somewhere on a yoga mat drinking a green smoothie whilst getting your toes polished and reading a self-help book.

Am I right?

Well here’s the thing, your marriage (or any intimate relationship really) can only be as strong as it’s foundation. If at the core of the foundation is God + the two of you (or just the two of you if you’d prefer), and one of you or the both of you struggle with taking care of yourself aka self-care, then your foundation will start to crumble.

I am NOT saying leave your job to relax on a yoga mat but if your job is causing you to stress to the point that you cannot be the husband/wife/bae/father/mother that you need to be then yes, leave your job to get on someone’s yoga mat.

EDITED TO NOTE: Talk to your spouse before leaving your job. I don’t need not one bride fussing me out because of this ok?!

You cannot provide a safe space for your loved one if you’re falling apart spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally or even financially. You will most definitely fall short in some of these areas because we are not perfect, but whatever you fall short in, either God or your spouse should be able to lift you up and encourage you through your struggles and guide you into caring for yourself (self-care). If relying on either source is an issue or if the idea of caring for yourself causes you even more stress, please seek therapy.

It is THEE best thing you can do for yourself and your relationship.

If finding a therapist is even more stressful, please just pick up the phone and dial this number:

1-800-273- TALK (8255)

Light, Love, & Blessings,

Minister Sharnise Sears

Just Here For The Party

Listen…(or read rather) I know you’ve been looking for a wedding officiant because you’ve made it to this blog. And I know for sure your mind has been boggled from seeing pricing for wedding officiants ranging from free 99 to something you definitely did not expect nor budget for. So, I’m writing this to give you a little perspective and to hopefully help you to narrow your choices.

Its a big deal. Trust me.

Its a big deal. Trust me.

Choosing your officiant via the all mighty innanet couldn’t be more confusing. Especially if you haven’t marinated on the only part of your special day that converts your big party to a real wedding. Let’s be honest for a moment, when you thought about your wedding ceremony, you thought about walking down the aisle, crying a little, saying I-do, then exiting the building to get to the party…in that order. You haven’t thought about the timeline, the structure of the ceremony, rituals/traditions/enhancements, etc. and why would you? This is probably your first wedding. All those details should be left to the pros.

Wait.

Pro’s? or a friend? Or maybe a relative that’s known you since diapers? (insert cringe here)

Yes, a pro! Professional Wedding Officiants do exist. We haven’t been on the map for long, but we do exist. Before us pros came into the picture, marriages were solemnized by members of clergy (pastors, priest, etc.), judges, or laypersons. Nowadays many couples do not have a church home, don’t want a religious ceremony, and would rather not step in front of a judge...for any reason. Times have changed and practically anyone with the right license can pronounce you married so let’s put some things into perspective before you book.

You wouldn't go to a mechanic just because the name on their building says mechanic, right? You’d probably ask around for a referral, preferably one with experience, and a good reputation. And of course, you want the pricing to be fair. But you know as well as I do what happens if you go cheap. Your car needs to LAST and not just run for the moment. It also needs to be serviced thoroughly and correctly or you will be back in a week or sooner.

This is the exact the mindset you should have when choosing your wedding officiant. I could go into thorough detail about the differences between hiring a pro or choosing the other options, but I am not a fan of bashing in order to make other people (or myself) look good. I believe that the work of those individuals and reviews speak for themselves. There are tons of people that have officiated ceremonies for close friends or family and it turned out great. But again, I am here to help you narrow down your choices and keep your attention span for the next 30 seconds.

Here’s my advice and shameless plug: When hiring the professional wedding officiant, you should hire the one that will not only create a ceremony that no one falls asleep on but will also help you with the details of your ceremony. And it’s a plus if they can also help you with the details of your marriage. Your marriage needs to LAST and not just be legal in my opinion, but I digress.

Ok, I’m not digressing hear my small rant: Everyone will tell you to skimp on what you can in order to have a fantastic party and usually this first negotiable is the wedding officiant. UGGHHH! Let me share some truth: You have options. If you choose to skimp, choose to elope to the courthouse and make it legal. No one wants to sit through a boring 30+ minute ceremony watching people they don’t know walk down the aisle, then hear the same thing they’ve heard a million times during wedding ceremonies; love is patient love is kind love is blah blah blah, when you know good and dern well that love and marriage can be trial, tribulation, and sometimes down right unbearable. Tell the truth and shame the devil mmkay?! END RANT.

I hope you’re reading this and understanding my humor :)

I hope you’re reading this and understanding my humor :)

I would just tell you all to hire me because I’m the best in the land (Cleveland yasssss) but as you can tell from my post, I am not for everyone and I am ok with that.

There are pro’s that will spend time with you helping to create the ceremony you never knew could exist… if they can make your guest cry and laugh at the same time, that’s straight magic right there. Hire the one that either has experience or education (or both) in all things wedding ceremony such as bi-cultural traditions, rituals, etc. They know how to handle emergent situations like forgotten rings, MOB not showing up, or handling an inebriated best man. Book the pro that you can really connect with, relate to, believes in YOUR love, and really knows how to make your ceremony about the love you share. From consultation to ceremony planning (and maybe even coaching), your Officiant should be your wing man and number one cheerleader. Like a lady wolf, one foot behind you yet right beside you, helping to cover every aspect of your wedding ceremony from all angles.

Bottom line, a Professional Wedding Officiant will either dampen or enhance the best day of your life. Choose wisely. Hire the Pro and not the one just here for the party.

Why We Celebrate!

I am so happy to announce that Weddings By CPE has received Wedding Wire’s Couples Choice Award for 2019! This is our second year winning but it’s the first time we ever really attempted to celebrate or make a big to-do about it.

During a recent conversation with a colleague, I casually mentioned receiving the email for this award and she immediately halted the conversation to express her excitement. The look on my face was priceless because I did not have that same reaction.

To be perfectly honest, I thought everyone received the award…but, in all actuality, there aren’t many Officiants or wedding vendors that receive more than 10 5-star reviews within a year (that’s the requirement for nomination).

After the conversation, I sat back and re-read all the reviews we’ve received since 2017. All 5-star reviews. Nothing but happy couples expressing their appreciation of my services and character.

And then… it finally hit me!

Couples took the time out of their busy day to show their appreciation! (Did I just repeat myself?!)

Reviews mean everything to business owners. It helps potential clients know exactly what they’re getting into when they purchase a product or hire the business for a service. Without reviews, you’re really shooting in the dark. So, when a client leaves a glowing review, they’re saying; You need to hire this person (or company)!

“The Couples Choice Award honors the exemplary work you’ve done over the past year and the highly regarded reputation you’ve established with your clients.” -Wedding Wire

“The Couples Choice Award honors the exemplary work you’ve done over the past year and the highly regarded reputation you’ve established with your clients.” -Wedding Wire

I am not perfect by any means and being perfectly honest, there were a few bloopers that have occurred on occasion (like that one time I sent everyone into a panic because the groom forgot the ring! Nice way to handle a crisis Minister Sears…smh!) but I am so thankful and grateful to all of my brides and grooms that have extended grace and left a kind review despite any shortcomings.

Because of grace, I will celebrate!

If you’re a business owner, I wrote this for you. Celebrate your wins. Thank your clients. If you’re a bride or groom, I wrote this for you too. Celebrate your #couplesgoals wins! Every milestone, every heated fellowship (for my super saints and aint’s lol), every anniversary, and every hallmark holiday is worth celebrating.

For me, I won’t just celebrate my personal success, but I will celebrate for the honor of being apart of a momentous occasion and a memory that will last a lifetime.

XO Minister Sharnise Sears

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Religious vs. Non-Religious...Who's Wedding is it anyway?!

Hooray! We’ve made our second blog post ever!!! I had every intention on posting at least every 30 days but..meh…life happened. So here we are! I will seriously not make this announcement at the beginning of every future blog, but I will always be super excited.

Before a couple books their wedding day with me, I always offer a free in person or virtual meet up to ensure we are a good fit. I truly believe that nothing is worse than booking an officiant that has no idea who you are, what you want/need, or even care to pronounce your name correctly (and guest can really tell!).

Kendra & Al Alexander Photo Credit http://www.kayladuffinphotography.com

Kendra & Al Alexander Photo Credit http://www.kayladuffinphotography.com

During the initial consultation, I ask each couple about their religious backgrounds, beliefs, or preferences, regardless if they’ve already informed me of their choice of a religious or non-religious ceremony. It’s a good way for us all to gauge where you are spiritually and to understand what you expect for your customized ceremony script.

 Sometime ago in 2017, I was contacted by a couple that requested a non-religious/short and sweet wedding ceremony. They were from out of town but the majority of their family and friends reside in good old Cleveland, Ohio.

Throughout multiple emails, I discovered that my bride had a catholic background but because she had been divorced with no annulment, she felt as though she could not incorporate God into her ceremony. The Bride and the Groom also had a deep love and respect for the Dali Lama and Buddhist philosophy. Now, we all know Catholic and Buddhist belief systems don’t really go hand in hand…right?

 By religious rules, they don’t but in all actuality, they really do.

 On another note, who’s marriage is it anyway?

 The reason why most Independent Professional Wedding Officiants exist is to unite couples that love one another together legally and that’s it. Most of us are in this marriage business because we know there is too much red tape that attempts to confine couples into boxes of what religious sects deem as a perfect and acceptable marriage.

Just like snowflakes, no two weddings are exactly alike.

 Your wedding and your marriage is yours to create. Traditional or Non-Traditional, Religious or Non-Religious...only matters if it matters to you.

Kendra & Al' Alexander’s prayer Photo Credit http://www.kayladuffinphotography.com

Kendra & Al' Alexander’s prayer Photo Credit http://www.kayladuffinphotography.com