Just Here For The Party

Listen…(or read rather) I know you’ve been looking for a wedding officiant because you’ve made it to this blog. And I know for sure your mind has been boggled from seeing pricing for wedding officiants ranging from free 99 to something you definitely did not expect nor budget for. So, I’m writing this to give you a little perspective and to hopefully help you to narrow your choices.

Its a big deal. Trust me.

Choosing your officiant via the all mighty innanet couldn’t be more confusing. Especially if you haven’t marinated on the only part of your special day that converts your big party to a real wedding. Let’s be honest for a moment, when you thought about your wedding ceremony, you thought about walking down the aisle, crying a little, saying I-do, then exiting the building to get to the party…in that order. You haven’t thought about the timeline, the structure of the ceremony, rituals/traditions/enhancements, etc. and why would you? This is probably your first wedding. All those details should be left to the pros.

Wait.

Pro’s? or a friend? Or maybe a relative that’s known you since diapers? (insert cringe here)

Yes, a pro! Professional Wedding Officiants do exist. We haven’t been on the map for long, but we do exist. Before us pros came into the picture, marriages were solemnized by members of clergy (pastors, priest, etc.), judges, or laypersons. Nowadays many couples do not have a church home, don’t want a religious ceremony, and would rather not step in front of a judge...for any reason. Times have changed and practically anyone with the right license can pronounce you married so let’s put some things into perspective before you book.

You wouldn't go to a mechanic just because the name on their building says mechanic, right? You’d probably ask around for a referral, preferably one with experience, and a good reputation. And of course, you want the pricing to be fair. But you know as well as I do what happens if you go cheap. Your car needs to LAST and not just run for the moment. It also needs to be serviced thoroughly and correctly or you will be back in a week or sooner.

This is the exact the mindset you should have when choosing your wedding officiant. I could go into thorough detail about the differences between hiring a pro or choosing the other options, but I am not a fan of bashing in order to make other people (or myself) look good. I believe that the work of those individuals and reviews speak for themselves. There are tons of people that have officiated ceremonies for close friends or family and it turned out great. But again, I am here to help you narrow down your choices and keep your attention span for the next 30 seconds.

Here’s my advice and shameless plug: When hiring the professional wedding officiant, you should hire the one that will not only create a ceremony that no one falls asleep on but will also help you with the details of your ceremony. And it’s a plus if they can also help you with the details of your marriage. Your marriage needs to LAST and not just be legal in my opinion, but I digress.

Ok, I’m not digressing hear my small rant: Everyone will tell you to skimp on what you can in order to have a fantastic party and usually this first negotiable is the wedding officiant. UGGHHH! Let me share some truth: You have options. If you choose to skimp, choose to elope to the courthouse and make it legal. No one wants to sit through a boring 30+ minute ceremony watching people they don’t know walk down the aisle, then hear the same thing they’ve heard a million times during wedding ceremonies; love is patient love is kind love is blah blah blah, when you know good and dern well that love and marriage can be trial, tribulation, and sometimes down right unbearable. Tell the truth and shame the devil mmkay?! END RANT.

I hope you’re reading this and understanding my humor :)

I would just tell you all to hire me because I’m the best in the land (Cleveland yasssss) but as you can tell from my post, I am not for everyone and I am ok with that.

There are pro’s that will spend time with you helping to create the ceremony you never knew could exist… if they can make your guest cry and laugh at the same time, that’s straight magic right there. Hire the one that either has experience or education (or both) in all things wedding ceremony such as bi-cultural traditions, rituals, etc. They know how to handle emergent situations like forgotten rings, MOB not showing up, or handling an inebriated best man. Book the pro that you can really connect with, relate to, believes in YOUR love, and really knows how to make your ceremony about the love you share. From consultation to ceremony planning (and maybe even coaching), your Officiant should be your wing man and number one cheerleader. Like a lady wolf, one foot behind you yet right beside you, helping to cover every aspect of your wedding ceremony from all angles.

Bottom line, a Professional Wedding Officiant will either dampen or enhance the best day of your life. Choose wisely. Hire the Pro and not the one just here for the party.

Forget Valentines Day. Try This Instead

You knew it was coming because it’s everywhere. All in the news. Spammed in your email. And commercialized with almost every retailer. It’s the dreaded Valentines day.

Singles dread this day if they aren’t boo’d up. Seasoned marrieds typically ignore it. So, one could conclude that this supposed day of celebration for newly weds and those in new relationships, right?

Maybe.

Fact: Valentines Day can literally make or break your relationship. 62% of consumers celebrate Valentine’s Day and 53% of relationships end because Valentines Day was not acknowledged. But why are we tempting fate with this mess with only a 50% chance of survival?!

I personally don’t care that some people believe that it’s a made-up holiday cause as for me and my house? We shall recognize! We may not always buy the “things”, but we most definitely do something. Okurrrrrr!

If you don’t know me personally or can’t tell by my degree in biblical studies (a hard-earned degree btw…toots horn), I am a lover of historical things. If I’m going to make an effort to acknowledge this particular day, I need all the answers.

Learning about the people who came before us and the things they’ve endured before our time is truly a magical experience for me. So here’s a little V-Day history lesson for ya that may soften your heart and lead you to celebrate or acknowledge this day for more than what society attempts by force.

“Your Valentine”

Saint Valentine’s Day is an official feast day in recognition of Saint Valentine of Rome. He was imprisoned and then martyred for officiating weddings for soldiers (who were forbidden to marry) and for spreading the word of God by ministering to Christians persecuted under the roman empire. Before he was killed, he healed a judge’s daughter from blindness and wrote her a letter (probably a love letter… #swoon) that was signed “Your Valentine”.

In honor of this courageous man, we now recognize Saint Valentine’s Day: A day to profess or reflect on love and theoretically lay your life down for what you believe. Clearly, St. V was a rebel. A fighter. A lover… and I can totally dig that. I can celebrate this.

Here’s what I’ve decided to do instead: Forget societies version of Valentine’s Day. Especially if you’re only looking to receive something. Celebrate if and when you’re ready to stand and fight for love and not just the romantic kind of love but ALL love.

Whatever you expect for Valentine’s Day (love letter, flowers, cards, candy, clean house, pedi, mani, money etc.) do it for yourself FIRST then do for others.

We all know the saying “you can’t pour from a empty cup” right? Well, St. Valentine didn’t have the distractions or issues that we face today. Our 21st century version of giving ourselves up entirely for love would be a double whammy and we probably wouldn’t make it past the age of 18 if we lived like he did. Therefore, we modernize. We practice self love so that we can love others and allow them to love us.

It may seem corny and maybe narcissistic to do this when you’re single but it’s the best way to show people that you love YOU and your life is not on hold for what may happen in the future. Take that trip girl!

If you’ve taken a lover (in my Carrie Bradshaw voice), communicate to your lover exactly what you want and expect on this day (or any other holiday). Don’t be shy about it either!

Even if you’re married, know this: marriage changes over time. Your values, wants, needs, and expectations WILL change…so celebrate how you see fit. Do something for you, do something for bae, or heck do something for the dog or the kids!

If we can only gather one good lesson from the life and death of Saint. Valentine, it’s this; Do Love with action…but DO LOVE.

XO Minister Sharnise Sears

Why We Celebrate!

I am so happy to announce that Weddings By CPE has received Wedding Wire’s Couples Choice Award for 2019! This is our second year winning but it’s the first time we ever really attempted to celebrate or make a big to-do about it.

During a recent conversation with a colleague, I casually mentioned receiving the email for this award and she immediately halted the conversation to express her excitement. The look on my face was priceless because I did not have that same reaction.

To be perfectly honest, I thought everyone received the award…but, in all actuality, there aren’t many Officiants or wedding vendors that receive more than 10 5-star reviews within a year (that’s the requirement for nomination).

After the conversation, I sat back and re-read all the reviews we’ve received since 2017. All 5-star reviews. Nothing but happy couples expressing their appreciation of my services and character.

And then… it finally hit me!

Couples took the time out of their busy day to show their appreciation! (Did I just repeat myself?!)

Reviews mean everything to business owners. It helps potential clients know exactly what they’re getting into when they purchase a product or hire the business for a service. Without reviews, you’re really shooting in the dark. So, when a client leaves a glowing review, they’re saying; You need to hire this person (or company)!

“The Couples Choice Award honors the exemplary work you’ve done over the past year and the highly regarded reputation you’ve established with your clients.” -Wedding Wire

I am not perfect by any means and being perfectly honest, there were a few bloopers that have occurred on occasion (like that one time I sent everyone into a panic because the groom forgot the ring! Nice way to handle a crisis Minister Sears…smh!) but I am so thankful and grateful to all of my brides and grooms that have extended grace and left a kind review despite any shortcomings.

Because of grace, I will celebrate!

If you’re a business owner, I wrote this for you. Celebrate your wins. Thank your clients. If you’re a bride or groom, I wrote this for you too. Celebrate your #couplesgoals wins! Every milestone, every heated fellowship (for my super saints and aint’s lol), every anniversary, and every hallmark holiday is worth celebrating.

For me, I won’t just celebrate my personal success, but I will celebrate for the honor of being apart of a momentous occasion and a memory that will last a lifetime.

XO Minister Sharnise Sears

Religious vs. Non-Religious...Who's Wedding is it anyway?!

Hooray! We’ve made our second blog post ever!!! I had every intention on posting at least every 30 days but..meh…life happened. So here we are! I will seriously not make this announcement at the beginning of every future blog, but I will always be super excited.

Before a couple books their wedding day with me, I always offer a free in person or virtual meet up to ensure we are a good fit. I truly believe that nothing is worse than booking an officiant that has no idea who you are, what you want/need, or even care to pronounce your name correctly (and guest can really tell!).

Kendra & Al Alexander Photo Credit http://www.kayladuffinphotography.com

During the initial consultation, I ask each couple about their religious backgrounds, beliefs, or preferences, regardless if they’ve already informed me of their choice of a religious or non-religious ceremony. It’s a good way for us all to gauge where you are spiritually and to understand what you expect for your customized ceremony script.

 Sometime ago in 2017, I was contacted by a couple that requested a non-religious/short and sweet wedding ceremony. They were from out of town but the majority of their family and friends reside in good old Cleveland, Ohio.

Throughout multiple emails, I discovered that my bride had a catholic background but because she had been divorced with no annulment, she felt as though she could not incorporate God into her ceremony. The Bride and the Groom also had a deep love and respect for the Dali Lama and Buddhist philosophy. Now, we all know Catholic and Buddhist belief systems don’t really go hand in hand…right?

 By religious rules, they don’t but in all actuality, they really do.

 On another note, who’s marriage is it anyway?

 The reason why most Independent Professional Wedding Officiants exist is to unite couples that love one another together legally and that’s it. Most of us are in this marriage business because we know there is too much red tape that attempts to confine couples into boxes of what religious sects deem as a perfect and acceptable marriage.

Just like snowflakes, no two weddings are exactly alike.

 Your wedding and your marriage is yours to create. Traditional or Non-Traditional, Religious or Non-Religious...only matters if it matters to you.

Kendra & Al' Alexander’s prayer Photo Credit http://www.kayladuffinphotography.com

Our Foundation

Welcome to my very first blog post! I honestly have no idea what I am doing but I promised myself in 2017 that I would step out of the “I don’t know” box and create the “I tried it” box.

Actually, I’ve been adding to my new box quite frequently over the past 3 years and I haven’t looked back…well maybe one or twice but its been pretty progressive. I’m adulting.

If you’ve stumbled across this blog, you’re either planning a wedding and looking to hire a pro wedding officiant or you’re looking for help within your relationship. Either way, I’m glad you found me here.

This is my love story and how Weddings By CPE came into existence.  

In March of 2013, I met my husband, Mr. Anton Sears. My cousin was engaged to Anton’s co-worker at the time, and they decided to set us up on a blind date. Short story even shorter, we met, fell in love, and 8 months later we got married! He’s been my homie, lover, encourager, and best friend since.

I never imagined myself being married until I met him. I was attracted to his peaceful spirit and gentleness with my two sons…and of course his gorgeous smile. One day I asked him “Why do you love me babe?” his response?… “Because I choose to”.

Can you see why I said “Yes”?! #swoon

He is/was the total package and now our family is complete and whole with three boys and a girl pup named Daisy. We recently celebrated our 5 year anniversary on November 10th (all applause and gift cards are welcome ‘cause the struggle was real!).

Speaking of struggle, the journey we have been through has been quite the adventurous one. During our first three years of marriage, we went through the tough stuff that no one could have prepared us for.

We had no idea that we would fall in love so quickly, get married, blend a family, buy a house, and have a baby all in our first year of marriage. We had no idea how much work it even took to wake up every day and choose to be married. We had no idea we would lose our partner parent and that grief would hit us hard. We had no idea how much therapy we would need to process all of this. But were still here. Still thriving.

If it weren’t for our faith in God, our premarital coaching basics, and our tribe/prayer warriors, we would have not made it this far.

Since I consider myself blessed for making it to year 5 (and hopefully many more) and having all the help and support that we so desperately needed during those hard times, it’s only fair to pass this blessing of love and spiritual support along to others.

Weddings By CPE was created in 2017 with love in mind. I want to help couples tell their love story, just like I’m telling you mine, in a meaningful way so that you can bless others as well. Love is the gift that keeps on giving!

I want to help couples start their marriage on the right foot with premarriage coaching…Not the boring do’s and don’ts of relationships but the real in depth thought provoking conversations that will help you build an ironclad foundation.

I want to stand together with you to pray, fight, and protect your love like many others have done for us.

In my future blog post, with the permission of other couples, I will share their love stories in hopes to encourage you to keep believing in Love.

XO Minister Sharnise Sears

Minister Sharnise Sears - Photo Credit www.stayfocusedfilms.com

Our Wedding Day- Photo Credit www.denniscriderphotography.com

5 Year Anniversary - Photo Credit www.stayfocusedfilms.com